Twue Wuv

I have always considered myself lucky beyond belief for marrying my southern gentleman and studly husband. For years and years my heart was missing a piece, and no matter who I dated or how much I tried, it just wasn't everything I needed. That piece was never completely full.

Nathan completely changed that.

For the first time in my life, I was actually afraid to lose the man that I called "boyfriend." It terrified me to no end. I knew there was something extremely special about him, and I was 100% confiding in him, which I had never been able to do before, to not break my heart. After a few tears shed one late summer night, I said, "Nate, I can't afford to lose you." He shook his head and responded, "Stop. I am not going anywhere."

And for the first time in 21 years, I actually believed.

Yesterday proved to be a challenging day for me, as well as the frustrating days leading up to it. Paisley has turned into quite the Mama's girl. I can't even leave the room without a sad baby cry and screeches of "Mamama." I had to make one thing for dinner. It would have taken 10 minutes. As I was in the kitchen, I could hear Pais in the other room, "MA! Mamama!!!" As she continued to cry, she crawled over to where I was in the kitchen, grabbed onto my pants, and pulled herself up on her feet. You would think that would have done the trick and she would have been happy... but she wasn't. With hands covered in flour, I couldn't reach down and get her without making a mess, and at that point I was getting frustrated. (Mostly with myself, not with her. I need to be more patient.)

My grand plan for dinner didn't turn out so hot. I love trying new things...and I cannot STAND when they don't work. I take it pretty personally. As I am sitting eating this dumb dinner alone because Nate was working late, Paisley continued to cry on the floor because I wasn't paying enough attention to her (I guess...).

For TWO HOURS it kept on like this. She was SO GRUMPY, yet wouldn't take a nap. She wasn't hungry. She hated all her toys. She just wanted Mom. Come 7:15 I had just about had it, and she had huuuuuge bags under her eyes. I put her in her jammies and put her to bed.

Nate gets home about that time, and he instantly says, "Hi babes! How was your day?" And the waterworks just flow. I'm mad about dinner. I'm upset because sometimes I don't feel like a very good mom. I'm confused because Paisley rarely acts this way, and it makes things very hard. I'm mad because instead of getting all the laundry done like I had hoped that day, there was still ONE load of dirty clothes that Paisley had managed to crawl through and scatter, and now we were all stepping through it (until I pushed it out of the way).

As I am venting and crying while folding laundry I hear, "Wow. This dinner smells good."

"Thanks. But you don't have to eat all of it. It didn't turn out very good."

"I AM going to eat it, because it smells good and it's what's for dinner, AND my beautiful wife made it!"

What a good husband.

And while he is eating, "This is good, babes!" as I am still attempting to throw a pity party.

An hour later, Paisley is laughing in her room. She is standing up in her bed, she has managed to mess ALLLLLL the blankets up, and it's obvious she won't be going to bed anytime soon. I go in to get her, and Nate pops in the room, too. Her face lit up soooo big, and she squealed and laughed as she saw Nate. "I guess she just needed her dad," I said. He took her, tickled her, and kissed her chunky cheeks. We spent the next half hour playing and laughing (AKA trying to get her tired). My sour day had completely changed.

"Hey babe, did you use milk for something today?"

"Yes, I used it for dinner about 2 hours ago. Why? Oh, CRAP! Please don't tell me I left it out!!!!!!"

I did.

And it starts all over, and I'm telling him I am certain I can't do anything right that day. Milk is stupidly expensive in Hawaii, remember?

"It's okay, Kayla. Milk kind of makes both our bellies sick, so we really shouldn't have it. You were just doing us a favor by getting rid of it."

I'm instantly laughing because I know he is trying to make me feel better, even though we both know I use milk to cook and bake, we just don't drink it due to intolerances.

At this point, Paisley finally gets to bed and is asleep, and I lay down next to Nate. We share funny pictures and videos that we saw throughout the day. "It's time for bed," he says. "We are going to sleep, and tomorrow will be a new AND GOOD day."

It has gotten rather chilly at night here. I say "chilly," but I know it's colder back home. Okay, it's chillier than normal and humidity makes cold even colder. Nate is my personal heater because he is always 700 degrees warmer than I am. As he wakes up at 5 am to get ready for work (he lets me keep sleeping), he wakes me up to tell me he is leaving, and my mind wonders off rather quickly into a deep sleep again.

At 6:45 am I can hear Paisley screeching and laughing in her room, so I manage to wake back up, and I AM SO WARM!!! I was certain Nate was still there. I rolled over and he was gone, but he had wrapped me up in one more extra heavy blanket that made all the difference when the morning air got chilly.

How incredibly thoughtful of him.

I'm not sharing this because I need pity or want people to think our marriage is completely perfect. Instead I am writing this to tell my sweet hubs just how much he means to me. It really is the little things in life that make it so sweet. He didn't have to do or say much, but what he DID do really made a difference at the end of the day.

I consider myself quite fortunate for marrying such a caring man.

Nate, thanks for never giving up on me and living true to your word- "I'm not going anywhere."

I love you!