Choosing Motherhood

I usually have to smile and walk away when people say, "Oooohhh... You gave up ALL THAT for a baby?" Otherwise I would probably punch them. There's so much they refuse to see. 

Let me explain.

I have been in the pharmacy biz, switching back and forth from full-time to part-time, for 7 & 1/2 years. I have had one job. I started at 16, and that job put me through high school, a new car, college, being a newlywed, and a baby. I was comfortable there. I enjoyed what I did, and I loved the people I worked with. Perfect.

I graduated in December 2013 with a BS in Elementary Education, certified to teach K-8. I had many people tell me a needed to get into teaching ASAP because it was something I had so much potential in. You could tell I loved what I did, and at the end of the day... I SO did. Gosh, I love those kids. Perfect.

I've always had goals for myself. I wanted to be successful, and I wanted to graduate college. I wanted to find a good job where I would be happy.

I chose motherhood.

The choice for me wasn't that difficult. Nate & I knew that we were supposed to bring a spirit into this world, and we are soooo glad we did. Paisley defines who I am. She sees me on my good days and my bad days. I've learned patience, time management, what diapers are best, multitasking, and most importantly... love.

I see so many friends starting new jobs. Their potential is so great right now. They are helping bring income to their families. They are being successful, and sometimes it saddens me a great deal that that isn't me. That's the life I wanted for so many years.

Then I come to the realization that I wake up to baby giggles in the other room, have an endless amount of kisses and snuggles, and am molding a LIFE and a HUMAN BEING. 

For my friends that long to have a baby but haven't been able to, my prayers are with you. I know your righteous desires will be fulfilled one day. Keep up the faith.

To the world, I may not look successful at all. Piles of laundry, dishes, smelly diapers, a screaming baby, and stepping on stupid little toys in the middle of the night isn't something to put on a résumé.

BUT I AM SUCCESSFUL!!!!

I have a little girl that needs me. Housework can wait. I'm playing peek-a-boo for the 50th time today. I'm singing songs and dancing like a fool to make her laugh or stop crying. I'm kissing owies or giving loves when my little girl has a bad day. I'm making bottles, animal noises, and weird dinners I make Nate eat anyway. :) And at the end of the day, when I see that toothless grin, I go to sleep knowing I did something right.

Maybe I didn't choose motherhood after all. Maybe it chose me.