beetles, boxers, and boys

i hate bugs. soooooo bad. so much that i can't kill them. for some strange reason, every time we have a beetle occurance in our apartment, my roommate julie gets to take care of it. this post is for you, julie.

let me start off by beetle number one. it's tuesday night. he/she/it was not cute. i was sitting on my bed watching julie unpack her boxes, and we were just chatting up a storm. all of the sudden julie YELPS, jumps, and screams, "BEEEEETLE!" and this fella was fast! she was overturning boxes and suitcases to try and capture him, but he just wouldn't have it. after julie was jumping around on her tip toes, she finally caught him. what was i doing this entire time, you ask? laughing. laughing HYSTERICALLY! "KILL HIM!" i screamed, as she ran upstairs to return our little friend to the outside world. and i will have you know she did NOT kill it. and i said to her, "if you don't kill it, it'll just come back and visit again." she has too big of a heart to kill it. (insert "aaaawww" here). so mark my words. i. told. her.

it's now wednesday night in this fabulous story. it was getting late and we were getting ready to head to bed, because school started early the next morning. julie hopped in the shower and i.....i was doing something REALLY important....? anyway, our other roommate had just gotten home and she had brought one of her guy friends over. good story....right? oh wait. so im doing busy people stuff on my computer and i hear this, "AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! BEEEEEEEETLE!!!!!!!" from the bathroom. oh yes, another beetle, and JULIE got to find it! told you, right? i knew this time she would kill it, because we learned our lesson last time. well, at least julie did....or so i thought. without any warning the bathroom FLEW open, and out came julie in her cute little pajama boxers and a towel on her head carrying a tissue. yes, a tissue. all i saw then was this mad BLUR as she bolted up the stairs to return beetle number two outside. (at this point in the story i thought to myself oh julie, there is a boy upstairs!!! and frankly, i didn't have time to warn her.) so off she sprinted outside to take our friend home. then all i heard was, "OH! HI! DON'T MIND ME!" oh yes. she bolted upstairs, IN HER BOXERS, with a towel on her head to return the beetle in front of our roommates man friend. I TOLD YOU JULIE!!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED IT THE FIRST TIME!

needless to say.....my gut muscles were in a lot of pain and my eyes were watering like a broken pipe. now THAT is a good story. see me for a reenactment...because the story is just THAT good. i have a feeling im the next one in this apartment that will have an embarrassing moment, and julie i hope you're not there... :)

love, me

ps: dear beetles, stay out of our house. if i come across you, i will NOT be as nice as julie was. okay thanks.